Good Ladies and Gentlemen of the Blog World.
This is my first blog ever — in general. A round of applause? I have never done this before, but I do have enough experience from journaling my thoughts. So, do be kind. Hopefully these ”entries” will be more… profound, though still showing my feelings in some way so that I’m not complaining.
I guess I should just dive right in, hmm? Well, all right then.
Hi. I’m Blythe. I’m in tenth grade and besides being a typical teenager and hating school, my life isn’t terrible. I have no life changing stories or inspirational experiences. So if that is what you are searching for, read no further. But if you skim a little longer, you can trust that my heart will sing with joy for the first time in a very long time.
My life changed in December 2007. I had practiced cutting on the top of my left hand. Idiotic, yes, but I didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew for certain was that I was quite curious and cutting seemed like a light thing to do. But after a few weeks, I realized that I was wrong. I had moved to my wrists. And I wasn’t doing it the “usual” way — horizontally. Instead, I did it vertically, right along with my vibrant blue veins.
There must be many questions crossing your mind. What could make her do such a thing? Is she crazy? Surely there must be a grander reason than curiousity, right?
Well, to answer a few, I did begin cutting out of curiosity. At first. But afterwards, it seemed that my cutting not only brought a release to stress, but a clear view of what life was like. Not only mine, but my friends and family. I found out that a close friend of mine was bulimic and that she had been doing it for year when I began harming myself. The best part, from what I saw, was that we both knew each others secrets and neither of us was willing to tell the others nasty habit.
My life at home grew more stressful as my parents began to fight more and more, my brother left the country to go to university and my sister was oblivious. I felt alone, but it didn’t matter. I had my favorite blade that could keep me company if that loneliness became too much.
Also, just over the past couple of months I found out that one of my other friends was anorexic and cutting herself. Another chance to relate to someone. Why would I take advantage of my friend like that? Simple. Desperation.
Now, no one knows that I am currently cutting and have been for exactly 17 months — 1 year and 5 months.
Until you stumbled upon this random girls thoughts.
So that’s all I’d like to write now, otherwise it’ll be too long. But that is my mini introduction. My sincere apologies if my thoughts were to gruesome for such a blog. Again… I was curious on if anyone would care enough to read about my secret.
Thank you,
Blythe.
